Thursday, May 7, 2009

Portrait Thoughts #1

Eric was satisfied when he received this print of his portrait. He felt his request to have the photographer capture his "serious" and "playful" side was taken with just the right amount of "creativity" without looking too "art weird." Eric would return four years later to have himself photographed with his degree in engineering.

This picture would mark a historical date in the war between the Roberts Brothers. Steven (bottom left) and William (bottom right) followed in their Father's footsteps by keeping the traditional Roberts' look, while Luke (top Left) and Clem (top right) took their Mother's advice to "Loose the glasses and run a wet comb through your hair." A clear line was drawn that day and was rumored to be the reason Clem and Luke were not invited to Steven's ranch style wedding some seventeen years later.

Tina had asked the question "Collar up or down?" all the while fully knowing the answer.

*Inspired by Jaydollah's question "what's that one website that has all the olan mills photos of ugly ass people?" 11:21 am 06/07/09

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Makes Me Nervous

It was bad enough when The Matrix came out and crazy people found a way to channel their inner psychotic rage by wearing trench coats and shooting people. Now that the Wolverine movie is out, I gotta worry about this guy getting mad at me because I'm taking too long to pick out a Blizzard flavor at the Dairy Queen.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

It's Up To You...

I'd love to set you up with a clue as to what you're about to see, but like a van Gogh painting, I'll just let it speak for itself:

For years there's been a "little person" claiming to have been Gary Oldman's stunt double, and nobody believed him...until now:)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Bow To The Baby

This child will either:
A) Front a Metal band
B) One day rule this planet
C) Both 'A' and 'B' at the exact same time


This child should either be:
A) Placed on a throne and worshiped
B) Destroyed immediately before it amasses too much power.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Does This Seem Odd?

Should people be winning guns?

Friday, March 27, 2009

Holy Cow

I'm a fan of Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi (aesthetically speaking that is) and I'm also a fan of bacon cheeseburgers. So you can image my surprise when I saw this commercial featuring those two things fornicating.

Pretty sure there's a "special sauce" joke to be used, but it's too nice out today for that sort of potty humor.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Dear MTA

This is YOUR solution to YOUR debt:

  • The LIRR's service to Belmont ends in late April.
  • Subway and bus fares would go up on May 31.
    • Single rides would go from $2 to $2.50—a 25% hike;
    • 7-day unlimited cards would be $31 (currently $25)—a 24% hike;
    • 14-day unlimited cards would be $59 (currently $47)—a 25% hike;
    • 30-day unlimited card would be $103 (currently $81)—a 27% hike;
    • 7-day express bus cards would be $51 (currently $41)—a 24% hike;
    • Pay-per-ride Metrocard bonuses are kept intact (though what the final bonuses are is still undetermined)
  • Metro-North and LIRR fares will go up about 23% on June 1.
  • Bridge and tunnel tolls increase in July.
  • City bus routes are eliminated over the summer; the W and Z lines are eliminated in the fall as the M and G service is cut.
Great job pinheads. Feel free to come into my apartment and take 25% of my stuff. Sure I'll argue against it, but who would listen, right? Dicks.

And look at that even Jesus hates you, and from what I hear he likes most people, so what does that say about you? Dicks.

You're a bunch of dicks. Seriously.