Friday, March 27, 2009

Holy Cow

I'm a fan of Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi (aesthetically speaking that is) and I'm also a fan of bacon cheeseburgers. So you can image my surprise when I saw this commercial featuring those two things fornicating.









Pretty sure there's a "special sauce" joke to be used, but it's too nice out today for that sort of potty humor.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Dear MTA






This is YOUR solution to YOUR debt:

  • The LIRR's service to Belmont ends in late April.
  • Subway and bus fares would go up on May 31.
    • Single rides would go from $2 to $2.50—a 25% hike;
    • 7-day unlimited cards would be $31 (currently $25)—a 24% hike;
    • 14-day unlimited cards would be $59 (currently $47)—a 25% hike;
    • 30-day unlimited card would be $103 (currently $81)—a 27% hike;
    • 7-day express bus cards would be $51 (currently $41)—a 24% hike;
    • Pay-per-ride Metrocard bonuses are kept intact (though what the final bonuses are is still undetermined)
  • Metro-North and LIRR fares will go up about 23% on June 1.
  • Bridge and tunnel tolls increase in July.
  • City bus routes are eliminated over the summer; the W and Z lines are eliminated in the fall as the M and G service is cut.
Great job pinheads. Feel free to come into my apartment and take 25% of my stuff. Sure I'll argue against it, but who would listen, right? Dicks.

And look at that even Jesus hates you, and from what I hear he likes most people, so what does that say about you? Dicks.

You're a bunch of dicks. Seriously.

Friday, March 13, 2009

If They Can't Make It, How Can We?



Bristol Palin and her baby's Daddy, Levi Johnston (great cowboy/porn name?) have broken off their engagement and called it quits.

I can tell you right now that Levi made a huge mistake and a very poor choice in judgement. I'm not talking about getting a high school girl pregnant, or even the fact that the relationship is over. I'm talking about the 'World's Greatest Mother-In-Law' mug he made in ceramics class. What a maroon.