Dear Fox News,

I would like to offer my services as consultant. In what regard you ask? Let's call it, um - common sense. Yes that's it, a common sense consultant. Here's how we can make it happen.

I'll work from home, you guys run ideas by me and I'll give you feedback. I know things are pretty busy over there, running a 24 hour news channel and all, so consider me a safety net for some things that may fall through the cracks. Here's one example:

Let's say you called me and asked if I thought it was a good idea to label Michelle Obama as "Obama's Baby Mama."

Then I would have said "yes."

Actually, I guess you guys really don't need my services after all. Keep up the great work and God bless America.