A Pledge

If John McCain becomes Commander In Chief then I will do everything humanly possible to insure his safety. I will take a bullet, donate a kidney, even let them transfer his brain into my younger body for longevity.

I will do anything to make sure this thing isn't the leader of the free world for the next four years.

After eight years of W and a possible four of this pee-brained witch, we'll be the laughing stock of the world.

Put it this way, if USA was a television show and the rest of the world was the tv viewing audience, we'd be that show 'According To Jim.' My point being, people will look and say "How the fuck is that thing still on the air?"

Dear Fox News,

I would like to offer my services as consultant. In what regard you ask? Let's call it, um - common sense. Yes that's it, a common sense consultant. Here's how we can make it happen.

I'll work from home, you guys run ideas by me and I'll give you feedback. I know things are pretty busy over there, running a 24 hour news channel and all, so consider me a safety net for some things that may fall through the cracks. Here's one example:

Let's say you called me and asked if I thought it was a good idea to label Michelle Obama as "Obama's Baby Mama."

Then I would have said "yes."

Actually, I guess you guys really don't need my services after all. Keep up the great work and God bless America.

WHAT?!

I'm speechless. Please discuss through the comment section if you're as shaken up as me.

Jesus, talk about not knowing a guy.

Dude...

Here's a look at the new Big Lebowski 10th Anniversary DVD edition:

Need I say more?


This is not new, it's The Big He-Bowski:

Ladies and Gentlemen - John McCa...zzzzzzzzz

Wow, was that boring. Just bring Sarah Palin back out for an encore please. Getting me to watch the RNC live, not edited down on the news, is something I never thought would happen. This week though I was there, tuned in. People REALLY wanna talk about John McCain's life, I mean like, a lot.

If you guys like him so much, if he's SUCH the right "American" for you, then why didn't you support him more when he ran in 2000? Oh wait, I remember, you guys liked George W and used all the Bush money and power to run smear campaigns about this "great American" who I guess wasn't quite "American" and "great" enough yet. Amazing what 8 years will do.

How many times do we need to hear about McCain's life? I know the guy is more American than me and probably you, I have no problem saying that...about you. Is it more of "Well you haven't heard Fred Thompson's version yet..." sorta thing? Seriously, if anyone still doesn't know about this man's life please stand up and give a goofy smile...







Not so fast Lindsay Graham you goddamn suck-up.




I watched McCain's speech for as long as I could but at one point I had to change the channel. I decided to watch an old episode of 'Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends.'



Pretty good episode, Iceman, Firestar and Spidey were trying to stop The Sandman from robbing an armored car. Sandman found out Spidey's secret identity, which you can imagine caused some drama.

What I Learned Last Night

If you mix these together:






You end up getting this:



Right back at ya sweetheart ;)






Bonus Info:

She's a good shot as well.