Come Visit New York

Every now and then the always understanding and accommodating NYC subway system needs to perform some maintenance. This will cause some changes. Don't worry, they're more than happy to point you in the right direction.

RIP Alexander Courage

Alexander composed the original Star Trek theme, he also composed music for: Lost in Space, Land of the Giants and Superman IV. He co-wrote the theme for The Waltons, so I guess you can only half-blame him for that depressing tune.

What Happened?

Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan has come out with a book called 'What Happened.' Not a bad title but I think it's missing one of these "?" at the end because Scott knew nothing.

How would I know of such things?

Well I used to watch his press conferences. It didn't matter what the topic was, the answer was always something along the lines of "I cannot comment on that right now...That subject is currently under investigation right now..." etc. So how could a guy whose job was to answer questions, but never had any answers, write a book about what happened?

These press conferences were amazing (I hope they put them all on dvd someday). Scotty was sent out there to get DESTROYED by the press on a daily basis. He never had an answer for anything so he just dragged out his no answer (poorly I might add) and the press just drooled. What a great time to be a reporter. They caught him in lies and contradictions so often that I actually started to feel bad for the guy. All that squirming and sweating must have given him Grand Canyon sized ulcers.

Here's a clip of Scott (not) answering questions about Karl Rove. The reporters actually laugh at some of his answers. He was the Rodney Dangerfield of the White House. Yup, no respect.

FYI- This clip is kinda crappy quality but you'll be glad that you can't really see the look of desperation and fear on Scott's face. Also this clip is a juggernaut that starts slow but just keeps pickin' up steam as it goes. Have patience because it gets worse every minute.

"W" Update #1

Richard Dreyfuss has just been informally announced as taking the role of Dick Cheney in Oliver Stone's biopic "W."



I think this is actually a pretty good choice, but I still think that at some moment (maybe the pretzel choking incident or perhaps one of the 3527 times Dubya mispronounced a word) Jimmy Fallon will walk on, try to deliver his line, then snicker and mess with his hair.

"Hey does that mean that you're saying this film is gonna seem like one long SNL sketch?"

-Yes I am.

"So you're not gonna go see it?"

-I'm so gonna see it that I feel like I've already seen it. Who is this?

"It's Ioan Gruffudd."

-Oh, you're the guy playing Tony Blair.

"That's right."

-And you also played Reed "Mr. Fantastic" Richards in those awful "Fantastic Four" films.

"Yes, that's correct."

-Perfect.

And if you want to know some personal secret info on the actress that plays Laura Bush, then click here

Splitting Images

Here's a scenario - You've been lying for years that you're pretty good friends with Michael Bolton. Well this fib finally catches up with you and people demand some proof. What the hell are you gonna do? I'll tell you what - contact the good folks at "Splitting Images Celebrity Lookalike Agency." They'll solve your Michael Bolton problem by sending you...

Michael Hartson (exact Michael Bolton lookalike)


Now for the ladies - You were just dumped and knew that your ex was gonna be at your mutual friend's wedding...with his new girlfriend! Complete nightmare right? Don't worry girls, I'm pretty sure you'd come out on top if you brought...
Brad Pitt!


And to top it off, his pal shows up because the three of you have a plane to catch. That's right, it's Brad's costar from such films as "Ocean's 11, 12 and 13"...
George Clooney!

So fear not regular looking people because Splitting Images is on the case!

It HAS To Be Fun

Oliver Stone's biopic 'W' is high on my list of can't wait to see films, and I could care less if it's accurate or just completely one-sided. Going on this picture of Josh Brolin as George Dubya, I'm already prepared to be entertained every time he comes on camera.

It could very well be the best looking SNL skit on the big screen. No offense to Josh, but I can't imagine any possible way to play President Bush without looking, and sounding, ridiculous. Not even Shia LaBeouf from the future could do it. NOT EVEN SHIA! I'm already calling it the greatest comedy of the year.

And here's some more awesomeness, this is who's playing Condy Rice (seriously)...




It's almost like they were separated at birth.

Seriously how high was Stone when he cast this film? The answer - just high enough.

This will most definitely NOT be the last time I post about this film.

Party at my place

I'll supply the Star Trek bottle opener...


and the R2D2 ice bucket with carbonite frozen Han Solo ice cubes.


You guys bring the Romulan ale and blue milk. Then about 30 seconds later the joke will be over.

Halloween Costumes

Seeing that Halloween isn't even close, why not post 3 costumes that let me know you rule:

1) Austin Powers - "Yeah baby! Does that make you horny?"

It's part of what I like to call "the new classic" costume.


2) The Dick in a Box Guys - This one is great for single guys.

Hot chick at the party- "Come on, what's really holding up that box?" (You are sooo in brah.)


3) Anything Political - Let's me know that you're smart and funny.

Check this one out - Hilary has a leash on Bill. Speaks volumes, but it's not too "in your face" political.


Honorary mentions:
Toga Guy
Sexual Organs
Person who wears a name tag with their own name on it.

Tom Waits Tour

Tom Waits is going on tour and made a little video to kick things off. The video once again proves (to me at least) that I'll never be able to fully figure Tom out. Oh you think you've got him figured out? Bullshit.



Thanks to Pedro and Sir Stewart for the link.

Eternal Happy Hour

This is Bill Bramanti and this is his custom-made Pabst Blue Ribbon casket. Bill has decided that when he bites the big one, he’ll do it in style. And ya know what, good for him. It’s your funeral so why not go out in the manner of your choosing. At the very least, you have Dennis Hopper on your side Bill:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Iron Man

I haven't seen the Iron Man movie yet, but I'm going to soon. I was always a fan of the character and really, how can I not be - an alcoholic futurist that creates a suit of armor capable of doing just about everything...awesome. Being Tony Stark has always been a goal of mine. All I need now is to become a futurist and get that suit and I'm there.

To get ready for the film I've spent the last 48 hours watching this on a repetitive loop. I'm almost ready.

Trailer Park Supervisor Jim Lahey

Here’s a list of the most memorable drunks in movie history. It’s pretty good, but not great. There’s one character missing and that’s trailer park supervisor Jim Lahey.

You can find this inebriated wonder in 'Trailer Park Boys: The Movie.' The film is a continuation of the popular Canadian comedy show 'Trailer Park Boys.' Lahey was once a police offer who lost his job back in 1977 due to a prank pulled by trailer park resident kids. Now that the kids are all grown up: Ricky (pot dealer), Julian (criminal mastermind of the park with heists including robbing parking meters) and Bubbles (steals broken shopping carts from the market, fixes them, and then sells them back to the market) are feeling Lahey’s wrath as he makes it his mission to get these three kicked out of the trailer park which they love so much.

The show has been a hit in Canada for all of its seven seasons and last year the movie was released in the U.S. If you like great characters and hearing the word “fuck” used as a noun, verb, adverb and adjective a lot - then this show is for you.

Here’s a quick clip of Mr. Lahey explaining to Randy (his bulbous, shirtless sidekick) why he needs the booze to get the job done. You can find tons of Trailer Park Boys Youtube clips if you feel the need venture further into this Canadian masterpiece.