Dear CNN,

Next time you do a story on same-sex marriages, and you want people to read it, then maybe don't use a picture of 87 and 84-year-old sharing denture spit. Just a thought.

P.S.
If one of these ladies is Larry King, then I apologize.

R.I.P. Stan Winston

Stan was the man when it came to special effects and make-up. He was that guy that who could get me to go to the theater to see a film that I knew I wouldn't like. I'd give one of these, "Well, it's got Stan Winston working on it so can't be that bad, right?" And yes, I'm talking about the film Congo.

Henry T Nicholas III is Not Boring

He co-founded a high-tech company called Broadcom Corp and he's worth around $2 billion - these two facts are the most boring part of Mr. Nicholas. Instead of giving you the long version, here's a list of not boring things Henry has done:

• Spiked the drinks of Broadbcom executives and other tech-industry leaders with ecstasy.
• Maintained an underground drug lair (pictured above).
• Hired hookers for co-workers, business associates and himself while also supplying them with drugs.
• Used Broadcom funds to payoff an employee who knew about his narcotics activities. Payoff was $1 million.
• Had an employee give cash to a courier for an envelope containing controlled substances in the lobby of Broadcom headquarters.
• Had an oxygen tank for his private jet due to excessive amounts of marijuana smoke.
• Instructed co-conspirators and associates to invoice him for drugs with code words like: supplies, party favors and refreshments.

He also loved the bands Metallica, Linkin Park and Orgy. This isn't very interesting but it does paint a better picture of what his secret underground, drug-fueled and prostitute-plenty parties were like.

Henry isn't having that much fun anymore with his twenty-one count indictment for security fraud and four count indictment for drug charges - he's also checked himself into Betty Ford.

Seriously, if you saw a character like this in a film you'd be laughing your ass off at the very notion that a person like this could exist. I'm picturing John Travolta with a bad wig.

'W' Update #2

This is the teaser film poster for the new Oliver Stone biopic, it's is a collection of "Bushisms." Film Drunk has a bigger version for you to read. If you're new to my fascination with this film, you can catch up by reading here and then here.

Do You Like...

the band Pulp, the animated Star Trek show and William Shatner covering the Pulp song Common People? Good news, this is right up your alley:

Ah, to be Young Again

This is not a clever Photoshop, it's real.

Some may see this as negative way for kids to play. Look at it as an easy transition to get them out of the house. Example:

"Stop playing those damn violent video games and go outside, in your completely realistic looking SWAT gear, and pretend to kill each other. It's such a beautiful day and you're wasting it!"

I quote the incomparable Michael Jackson when I say, "I believe that children are the future, teach well and let them lead the way..."

*Update: It's Whitney Houston and not Michael Jackson (both are still incomparable though). Thanks to Doolan for the correction and letting us know that he's the man when it comes to Whitney Houston tunes.

Indiana Jones and the blah blah something about a skull I think

I wanna thank these people above (and George Lucas) for reassuring me that my original feeling, when I heard about the old gang doing another Indian Jones movie, was correct. That feeling was - "Why?"

After seeing the film last night I would have to say that it should have been rated "S" for "Silly." I was annoyed pretty much from beginning to end. If you're thinking "It's just a film, who cares?" Then I'll pull over right now and you can get out.

I have no spoilers here, but I will say that it felt more like an Indiana Jones theme park ride and not a movie. So instead of bashing this film right away, let's take a look at why there was no need for a 4Th film.

Indian Jones and the Last Crusade was the greatest last film in any trilogy. Fans got to learn the following:

• How Indy became terrified of snakes
• How the whip became his tool of choice
• Where he got his awesome look from
• His real name isn't Indiana
  

All cool info that you could probably label as "campy" if you wanted to ,but it was still done in a fun and exciting way to give fans a bunch of treats for the final film. Otherwise known as - the opposite of Indy 4.

We also got to met his Dad and they:

• Run into some Nazi trouble
• Solve the big mystery together
• All ride off into the sunset at the end...THE END!

Perfect way to close the book on the Indy story. I was ready to move on with my life with a tummy full and satisfied.

But no, in true Lucas fashion, it was time to resurrect the story and totally take a big steamy dump on it. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is an obtuse and ridiculous idea. To me it felt like it was once a completely separate film project and then someone said, "Why not add Indiana Jones to it!"

What a mess.

It's pretty clear that making an action/adventure movie isn't brain surgery, but the Indy films were the best action/adventure films that Hollywood had to offer. Some people like to give the 2nd film , Temple of Doom, a bad rap. But guess what, with four Indy films out there to date - Doom is the 3rd best...by far.

So I look back at the top of the page to those pictured above (and George Lucas) and say, "What the fuck are you guys smiling at?!"